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if i ventured in the slipstream

between the viaducts of your dream

4/8/09 05:23 pm - today's flash fiction entry.

written in thirty minutes, using these prompts and trigger words: "a man receives a letter in the mail"; the color green; smooth gesture; a dumpster.


The mail arrived earlier than usual. Henry slowly rose from his chair and shuffled his feet across the faded carpet. It was a beautiful day. His cat Francis raised his head from his usual spot on the antique table in front of the picture window and watched him as he made his first big move in hours. These things didn't come so easily anymore: simple movements, daily routines. His back ached and his mind was aware of what was missing. His overcoat hung limp around his shoulders; he had shrunk within it. How many years had he had this raggedy thing? He couldn't remember. Marie was still here. He knew that because she bought it for him.

He undid the lock and opened the heavy wooden door. He could hear a woodpecker in the trees, and spring was obviously on its way. He stretched his tired arms to the mailbox and reached inside, grasped a bundle of paper, and pulled it out, careful not to strain his side. He closed the door behind him and made his way back to his chair. Ungracefully, he sank into his chair and began sifting through the mail. After moving a couple of cheap catalogues and coupon booklets, he noticed it. A green handwritten envelope. It was the first piece of interesting mail he'd received in months. There was no return address. He opened it, and inside were a few sheets of folded paper with a familiar script. He was almost afraid to remove the papers, to read them, as if he would be invading her privacy again. He was always invading her privacy, though he had no idea what was so important that she had to keep so many diaries, or why each diary had a little lock on the side and there were no keys to be found anywhere not even in her bureau drawers! What young girl doesn't hide things in her bureau drawers? he always asked himself. He never did find out where she hid those keys.

He retrieved the letter and began to read. Like the loyal man he is, Francis leapt down from the table, crossed the room, and joined Henry in his chair. Henry's eyes gradually began to water. He never did understand why his daughter hated him, and she was all he had left. They could never talk to each other. She never liked sports, and she always kept to herself. He couldn't understand that. And for some reason, she always blamed him for Marie's death, even though she had cancer. If the doctor said there was nothing that could be done, what was he supposed to do? He held Francis. Francis looked up at him, so serene and silent, with eyes big and blue. For years he had waited for his daughter to write, and now that she had, he felt nothing but bitterness. Still, he could never pinpoint what it was that had happened. He knew what he had to do. Without giving it a second thought, he dropped the letter in the trash and turned on the television.

12/2/08 10:53 pm

prompt: steal the first line of a book you haven't read before. keep writing.

i chose isaac bashevis singer's the slave:


A single bird call began the day. Isaac reached over his wife, sleeping flat on her stomach, and picked up the phone. He fell lightly back into place on his side of the bed and looked at Sophia. How she could sleep with her face so deeply buried in her pillow, he had no idea, but she was impossible to wake. He wondered why he took so much care in staying quiet through the early morning hours, when he couldn't find his rest between the cawing of the crows and the distant rattle of tractors and chains. The light rested on his face as he dialed the phone.

"Hello?" he said. "It's Isaac. I know it's early, but I need to see you."


She was wearing a dress of dark blue that fell gracelessly over her slim frame. The pale skin cradling her collarbone held two tiny freckles near her throat. They seemed to move as she talked, following her words like the bouncing ball on a karaoke screen. "Isaac, you know I can't do this all the time. I'm married."

"So am I," he answered.

"You know what I mean," she said. And he did. He had seen them together. Her husband was tall and always wore blazers. It was only around men like this that Isaac ever took notice of his own appearance. His tattered corduroy pants and too-loose sweatshirts, always adorned with tiny stains of coffee or pizza sauce. His hair that looked disheveled no matter how short he cut it or how often he combed it. His muscular hands and dirty fingernails. His country-boy walk. It was horrifying. Linda looked at him with a sympathy so sincere he couldn't bear to meet her eyes. She loved him. For some unexplainable reason, she loved him before he could even try to impress her, which wouldn't have worked. She loved him before he had the chance to convince her that he was, in fact, unlovable -- so unlovable that even his unattractive, unmotivated wife couldn't care less whether he returned home within the day. The nights came faster and faster, and he found himself losing himself on long drives whose only purpose was to gather his strength. He had meant to leave Sophia and this loneliness behind, but as Linda looked at him with that great sympathy, he realized that what he was now feeling was a loneliness greater than any he'd felt before.
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9/25/08 02:20 am - i am from... (2)

22 september 2008.


i am from a city in massachusetts
that is barely a city, a family
that is barely a family
i am from a family torn apart:
a mother i have met twice, wrought
with delusions and discomfort, and
a father struggling with thoughts
that he is not himself
his worries make him not himself

i used to think we were one
because there was a time when he was my only family, and
we spoke to one another without even speaking. he
would grasp onto my ankles and hold me upside-down, and
i would laugh so hard at his face being miles away and
how my hair would drag across the floor
i thought we could take anybody, that no two people
could ever compare to us
i felt as if i'd shared his life, like i had
actually been there even before i was born and
was therefore smarter than any kid i knew
i would listen to kids my age talk about their lives,
their parents' divorces, their dogs, their crushes, and think
"they have no idea"
and they didn't
i try to convince myself i'm being unfair, but
they really don't understand that
i am from a family that has taught me the art of suffering
without having to suffer
i blow off the biggest things by laughing about them, and
the strange thing is i'm actually amused
it is becoming harder and harder to faze me

i am from a city that is barely a city, and
i still don't know my way around, yet
i am not afraid
i never believe that anything could break me
my grandmother taught me how to withstand anything, and i have
i have done the most unexpected things:
survived illness and disappointment,
married young, become generous, raised my family
i am from a family that couldn't
take care of itself, and so
i take the blame
i am from the school of thought that believes
we create our own destiny
we are godless, immoral, irrational beings, and
there is no one to blame
i have no one to blame
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